Saturday, 27 June 2009

A new sister in Islam

Oh my gosh! I feel kinda... Moved...

I was recently introduced to a new sister and have to say how sweet she is mash'allah! Bless her, I really like her. A lot and am glad I was introduced to her!

I don't know. I have this sense of... *thinks* ...Umm... *thinks more*... I don't know what - admiration maybe? - towards her.

She's reaaaally sweet and- well, I've heard good things about her and her progress in coming to Islam. Mash'Allah!

Even though haven't been 'there' with her along the way of her journey, In a weird way, I kinda feel like I have.

I was so happy to hear that she was interested in Islam and may soon revert. I was soooo pleased to hear she when she had said her Shahadah – Mash’allah, and I was soooo excited when I found out she had been wearing hijab...

Mashallah – I don’t know.. its amazing. I have this insane love for reverts and the way they embrace Islam is beautiful, not to say that for a born Muslim its not cos everyone feels it. Everyone feels the love in the heart when they embrace the deen, but the revert brothers and sister... its something different.

I really don’t think of myself as an inspiring person so for her to tell me that my messages have done that for her is so lovely. In the same way that I was inspired by conversations with people, books read, lectures listened to – I guess I feel that I want to be able to do that for someone as well.. If i can say anything to someone so that they can see the beauty of Islam, I just think ‘Allhumdulillah!’ Allah has given me the ability to say something that’s insh’allah going to being someone closer to Him? That might seem like a small thing to you but the bigger picture to me, isn’t...


I often worry about reverts to Islam as I wonder just how much support they actually get... I know some revert sisters haven’t had the most friendliest or welcoming experiences, and that just make me feel bad man... I mean, we as Muslims already, what kind of image are we giving off about our beautiful deen...?

It annoys me! Especially when I think of occasions at my own Masjid... I don't know... I'm just happy to have met her... and insh'allah will do all I can for her, however much or however little help it may be.

-- Posted From My iPhone --

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Feeling Guilty...


I don't know what's going on recently but I keep missing my Fajr Salah.

I don't think I've ever missed as much Fajr salah in my whole time of praying. I think over these past couple of weeks or so, I've probably missed the Dawn prayer like 7 times... Maybe more...?

I feel so bad. Its not like I've lost my motivation or anything but sleep overcomes me. Whilst more asleep than awake, the alarm is turned off without me even realising.


See, timings are changing which means Fajr begins around 3:15am with the sunrising at about 4:45am. I begin my day at 7am and Isha is also quite late, ummm at about 11pm I think. As a result; by the time I've prayed Isha and made dua, its like 11:30/11:45pm (I pray a long salah!) which all means I'm just sooo knackered and thave to be up again in a few hours..

Words of help please my brothers and sisters??!!

I wake up and realise that I've missed Fajr and feel soooo guilty. Of course it's not intentional but I feel so bad. Admittedly, I may well be in a slight state of slumber when I pray my Fajr Salah but I love that time of the day and love Fajr salah... My Fajr salah...

Anyways, I've been meaning to post about a Course on Salah I went to last year which was outstanding and as promised, changed the way I would pray forever...

Ive been really lazy but coupled with the fact that all of a sudden I seem to be uber busy, just haven't had time... Inshallah I will try my best to post about these very, very, very; soon! There's some lovely points I want to share with you all as when I heard them, they just blew me away.

Anyways - I pray you are all well my beautiful readers, I pray you are in the best of Health and Imaan inshallah, I pray that Allah Subhanahu wa taala showers you with many, many blessings everyday and shows you mercy and compassion.

Stay well

Monday, 8 June 2009

Reflecting: Dinner with friends

I've just left a couple of girlfriends after dinner at the much raved about Thai restaurant at The Blue Elephant in Fulham. I had a lovely evening so why have I come away feeling a little deflated? Feeling quite sad, actually.

It’s been about a year since me and my 2 closest friends from uni spent some time together to kick back and chill. It was so nice to see them again but an evening catching up with friends wasn’t quite like the old days as I had thought it would be...

The last time I saw these girls together, I was a different person and I’ve changed much in the way I choose to live my life since then.

Where we once shared the same interests and liked doing the same things, don't really appeal to me anymore; and the things that never bothered me, now all of a sudden, did.

I knew they'd had a drink whilst they are waiting for me so by the time I arrived figured they must’ve been a bit... Well - 'intoxicated' let’s just say! I mean, they weren't wasted in the slightest but the nonsensical conversation had me wondering if they were just talking plain isht!

I feel bad saying this but I found myself thinking that while they're 'liquored up' I just don’t wanna be around them! Drunken people are fools at the best of times and if they wanna do that, cool do it in your own space but just don't impose it on me...

Please don't get me wrong, I love the girls to bits and wouldn't dream about telling them how to enjoy themselves but it was all waaaay too close for comfort that night.

For a few seconds wished I was somewhere else with a bunch of non-alcohol swigging hijabun chicks!

We sat and ate, joked and talked like we used to just like back in the day but at times I was a bit detached from them... Maybe it was all the thoughts running though my head distracting me from being ‘there’...?

Anyways, I've always been quite confident and secure within myself so when the girls started to rough up their hair and reapply the gloss for a photo, I began to really miss the long layered locks and the perfectly painted nails that I too once used sport...

I mean, they both looked stunning! The shiny glossy hair, luminous smooth skin and perfectly accessorized outfits made my coral cinched tunic with black and gold hijab pale into insignificance.

I really felt like the less pretty, less stylish friend and I’ve never felt that before! Without coming off as vain or anything, I’ve always been happy and confident within myself but recently... I dunno... I guess since wearing hijab, at times I feel quite self-conscious and sometimes – ugly too.

That glossy self-assured chick used to be me a few months ago but now the confidence I used to then ooze was now replaced with insecurity and self consciousness instead...

We laughed just before leaving whilst taking super stupid pics and generally were just messing around like we used to at uni. Ah, it was cool- I so miss those days mannn! Good times!

As they went off to continue their evening out I couldn’t help but feel kinda sad as I left them though... And almost wished that I was going with them.

Like, I've had sooo many laughs and good memories of these girls and as I watched them go, I realised that I may not actually have have many more new ones with them...

Seeing them after so long made me miss the fun we used to have and now feel that I won’t be a part of that any more. My friends bless them, have been amazing and so sweet and considerate of the things I will and won’t do now. They still make an effort to meet up and stuff, but it’s never quite gonna be the same as it was.

It kind of makes me wonder whether this could be the start of a friendship that's beginning to drift?

I've realised all the change that's taken place and guess that’s just left me feeling a little low. Knowing things have changed and won't be how they used to be saddens me a little...

I guess all this is just me, missing things. My friends, Spending time with them, Feeling confident – MY HAIR!!!!

Its so hard when you miss things - be it people, places, times – it's one of the hardest things to have to deal with in life but sometimes its not so bad cos you know you can see that person, or go to that place and you may feel a little better .

What is even more difficult? When you miss something but know there’s not a single thing you can do to make it better cos it is what it is.

Now that really is hard... And this, is just one of those... Allhumdulillah.

Sunday, 31 May 2009

The Daree Sharee (Aka - The Sunnah Beard!)

I reaaaaally love sunnah beards on brother. Mash'allah I think they are so beautiful and when a brother decides to keep a sunnah beard properly, adds much beauty and a level of respect about him.

Theres many a hadith about the beard and reckon had I been a dude? I'd keep one sharpish! (Inshallah I will post about these sometime in the future)

Anyways. I came across the following poem which I wanted to share with you.

Its a poem by a brother who had a negative experience about his beard and vented his anger by putting pen to paper, which resulted in this amusing yet thought-provoking and witty poem.

Beauty of the Beard
By Br Tushar Imdad-ul-Haque Bhuiya

Context of poem;
I came to eat dinner in my halls of residence one day last year when two sisters started laughing at me; I had some food stuck in my beard. They went on to innocently and honestly mock my beard saying it was messy, unnatural and unhygienic. Little did they know the rage that I felt as a result of this and I channeled this rage by unleashing my anger through my pen and out came this poem.

I performed this poem in the Leicester University/DMU Islamic Societies and Eid Celebration and it was received with much laughter and acclaim - Alhamdulillah. Due to popular demand and many requests I have decided to type my poem up and email it to my friends in Islam. Let me remind you all not to be offended as this is no fatwa or religious statement - just a funny poem that spontaneously was produced as a result of my unfortunate experience...

Tushar (12th March 2001)

"Glorified be He who beautifies women with long locks of hair
And Men with long beards
There is beauty in the beard
Aye, there is beauty in the beard!

When the lion roars all the animals submit
For the lion is the king of the jungle
The lion with its glorious mane
And a Muslim man grows his mane in pride
Showing the rest of humanity that he is to be respected
Can one imagine a lion without its mane?
Nay, thou canst not! Then imagine a man without his beard

Woe to worldly women who mock the beards so!
Desiring husbands with clean shaven faces
Woe to women who mock the Prophets Sunnah
In the name of hygiene, neatness and smooth texture
Indeed the women of this world cannot like the beard
But she who wants Paradise adores the beard!

A beard is a gift given to man
Something only he can grow; a woman never can!
When he ponders, he gently strokes it;
When he eats, it stores food;
When he is with kids, they play with it adoringly;
When he is with his wife, she fondles it lovingly;
When the enemy see it, fear is struck in their hearts!
Ah! there is indeed beauty in the beard!

All the Prophets had beards - yes they did!
Muhammad had a beard - so big! so big!
All the companions had beards - o yes! o yes!
All the sages had beards - I know! I know!
All the wise have beards - tis true! tis true!
All the pious have beards - you see! you see!
All the Muslims have beards!? - if only! if only!

Who did not have beards? The kafirun!
Who had clean shaven faces? The kafirun!
Who grew their moustaches? The kafirun!!
"And what did our Prophet order" I here you ask
He ordered us to lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!
Lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!
What greater reason that this can there be
The fact that our Prophet told us to see
That we make ourselves appear to the world
As full bearded men with honour untold

O Muslim brother!
Why do you desire to look like a woman
When your blessed facial hair is the difference between you and the opposite gender?
O poor Muslim brother!
Why do you imitate the kafir Instead of following the Prophet of Islam?
O silly Muslim sister!
Why are you so blind?
Infatuated with Bollywood actors who have no mind!
O wretched sister!
Are you not scared of your choice?
You would rather have a feminine monkey
Instead of an exalted manly ape!

So indeed I love my beard
And adore the curls and tangles
Which no oil, gel or superglue can ever straighten
My glorious long, curly, messy, fluffy beard!
The playhouse for kids;
The envy of Malaysian people
And the beloved of Allah!
I maybe rejected by worldly women because of this hair on my face
But who care! For my Mum loves it and she puts all such sisters to disgrace!
Be patient Muslim brothers, who shun the trendy look for a Prophetic pose
Paradise with the wide eyed Houris is our final abode!!!!!"

Friday, 29 May 2009

Jumaa Mubarak!

Salaams ladies
(and maybe to a few brothers too?)

It's almost 8am, I've just stepped out of the house and my first thoughts are subhan'Allah! The sun's shining and the birds are singing- Allah has blessed us with beautiful weather on this blessed day of Jumaa...

I spoke in my last post about my concern for my iman. Allhumdulillah yesterday I prayed the most beautiful Asr salah to me! All those things I spoke about in my last post returned, I was conscious of Allah, my heart was present during salah, worldy thoughts didn't come to me... Subhanallah!

I sat and as I made dua and began to thank Allah for all those things I could see around me, that he's blessed me with, I thanked him for being a muslimah who by his will has been guided. I thanked him for having a prayed a beautiful salah when tears began to drop like white pearls from my eyes.

Im not sure if they were tears of sadness for what I'd lost or tears of joy for having found what I'd lost... But wow! After weeks of feeling lost and alone, I once again had the feeling of contentment and much peace at heart.

Insh'allah, todays gonna be a good day- I can feel it! It's the blessed day of Jumaa, and even though I'm on my way to work (Whilst I wanna be in bed!) and getting my foot crushed in the car door, (It hurts!) Allhumdulillah - I feel good man! I feel happy! I'm content with my lot.. I don't need anymore as I have more than enough..

I love Allah! I love my religion! And I love you all for the sake of Allah...

Jumaa kareem my beautiful readers- have a fabulous day!

Salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu


-- Posted From My iPhone --

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Salah: I'm slipping... I'm falling...

Earlier in the week I was sooo worried about my Iman. It’s decreased and I don’t know how or when it happened.

Insh’allah I am steadfast in salah but for some reason I’m not able to pray how I used to. Im not able to pray with that sincerity and humility I used to feel. I don’t have that love or feeling in my heart… I don’t have that fragility I used to experience. I have little concentration and find my thoughts during salah are consumed with such worldly matters.

It almost feels like I’ve stepped back a year to before finding my way to Islam. I pray with little understanding of the words being recited and unaware of what my actions truly signify.

I can’t even supplicate how I used to – I can’t even sit and supplicate with all my heart and ask for Allah to have mercy on me, my family and friends. I find I can’t bring myself to ask Allah of anything… well not with any feeling or real want like I used to... Even asking Allah to bring me back to my deen and increasing my iman – I’m empty… it’s hard not to think of it as anymore than just words right now…

Upon hearing the beautiful recitation of the Noble Quran, I feel nothing… The words no longer deeply touch my heart like they used to and am no longer able to listen to the harmonious words… My heart has hardened and I sooo long for it to return to the state it was in a few weeks ago. I didn’t see this coming and I didn’t see it happening… How have things changed in just a few short weeks??

As the days have gotten longer and the hours increased between salah, what was supposed to be a look around the shops or a quick Google on the net, somewhere turned into hours… coupled with neglect of the Quran and most importantly my Lord, I think, has led to the decrease of my iman that I’m now sooo so worried about.

"Therefore remember me [by praying, glorifying etc.] and I will remember you…"
(Quran 2: 152)

"Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!"
(Quran 13:28)

O Allah, Please forgive me. O Allah, please restore and renew my faith. O Allah please keep my grip on the rope strong and firm.

I will continue to make dua for Allah to being me back. I need to to reestablish my faith. Being the second most important pillar after the Kalimah and having felt that my salah is what has suffered most, Insh'allah this is where I will begin...

I just feel that I need to go back to basics as a refresher.. and spend some time contemplating and reflecting on the true meaning of what Salah is to the Mu'min.

Why do we pray and what are the blessings in Salah?
What happened on the night of Al Mi'raj when Salah was ordained on the Ummah?
What do the beautiful words we recite really mean?
What do our actions during Salah truly signify?

I pray that in reminding myself in these basic principles I will find that spiritual connection and fragility I felt in my Salah up until just recently...

Rabbij-'alnii muqii-mas-Salaati wa min dhurriyyatii, Rabbanaa wa taqabbal Du-'aaa


The Spread of Islam - Subhan'Allah!

Whilst out in the blogosphere earlier this week, I came across this post on a blog I’m following which is insanely interesting!

The lovely Jamaican Muslimah posted the following link on the demographics of Islamic immigration in Europe.

The numbers are A-MAZING and it just goes to show the spread of Islam is unstoppable. A scary indicator how close to the end of time we may actually be...

Subhanallah! I’m speechless and sat in awe...

Deffo worth a look..

Much love ladies